Managing Holiday Stress: Empowering Strategies for Navigating the Winter Holiday Season.
The holiday season, while filled with joy, fun, and festivities, can also be a time for heightened stress and anxiety. As we approach this Winter holiday season, it’s crucial to equip ourselves with effective stress management techniques. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Kansas City, I wanted to offer you some insights into navigating this challenging period with grace and resilience.
Know When to Say No
The Winter holiday season can be a busy time! There are friend gatherings, company holiday parties, family get-togethers, travel plans, and planning holiday events. That’s a lot! Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to do it all, not let anyone down, or always be present for every event we are invited to. I’m here to tell you that that simply isn’t true. Even during special times like the Winter holiday season, we are entitled to not stretch ourselves past our limits. I encourage you to seriously look at your calendar, assess your internal energy levels, and adjust your plans accordingly. It can be hard to feel like we are disappointing people if we decline a holiday party invitation, or decline to travel to a holiday family event, but your mental health and well-being are worth it! People typically can understand what it feels like to be stretched too thin, and decide to choose yourself and your own well-being instead of attending everything you’re invited to.
Set Boundaries Around Your Time, Energy, and Travel
Boundaries is a big word. I’ve written a post on boundaries before. But they take on extra meaning around the holiday season. With so many events and obligations, it becomes imperative to communicate to others what to expect from us. As a refresher, boundaries are about us. They are stating what we are going to do or not do. Boundaries are not about controlling other peoples’ words or actions. During the holiday season, getting really clear with ourselves about what our boundaries are around our time, energy, and travel becomes essential. Sometimes we just can’t do it all. This may mean communicating to a host that we are leaving an event early at a certain time. This may mean communicating to family or friends (ideally in advance) that we will not be able to attend an event, even if it’s simply because we do not have the energy for one more thing. This may also mean setting a boundary with family members that we are too over-extended to travel to a family gathering. This is critical if the thought of traveling to the event brings you more stress than joy! Families tend to understand not wanting to travel when you have young children, but often single people or couples without children are expected to suck it up and just make it. I truly do not believe this is fair. Traveling is fun for some, and exhausting for others. If you find yourself with low energy at the end of the year, just know you can totally opt out of traveling to an event! That doesn’t mean you will necessarily miss it every year - we can all be flexible from year to year and adjust our plans each year based on our context. If you truly do not want to attend an out-of-town event, I want you to know that setting a boundary that you will not be attending this year is totally ok!
Consider Discarding Gifts Altogether
So, there is often an expectation or implicit connotation of gift-giving during the holiday season. If you are someone who enjoys thinking and planning about gifts for people, or who loves shopping for gifts, I love that for you! Enjoy it! If you are, however, someone for whom gift planning, shopping, and wrapping are burdensome, I want you to consider the fact that you can simply opt out! The holidays are about more than just receiving. They are also about being together and enjoying loved ones. Your presence is enough - whether you bring gifts or not. If gift-giving is a part of your family or friend culture, you can always just communicate (ideally in advance) that you have chosen not to do gifts this year, but that you cannot wait to spend quality time with them. Other options for purchasing gifts are considering making a food dish, a baked good, or a homemade craft to give instead. Gifts are often considered obligatory during the holiday season, but I want you to know that you do not have to put yourself out if gift-giving isn’t something you enjoy, or if your budget makes gift-giving difficult for you. The end-of-the-year holiday season is stressful enough without adding financial stress to the mix! You have the autonomy to decide for yourself if gift-giving is what you want to do this year.
Embrace Mindfulness and Presence
The holidays often rush by a blur of activities. I encourage you to practice mindfulness to stay grounded. This can involve simple practices like deep breathing, mindful eating, and taking moments to fully engage with your surroundings. Mindfulness helps in appreciating the present moment, thereby reducing anxiety and stress. Mindfulness can also include relaxing activities like intentionally taking a luxurious hot shower while it’s cold outside, and truly being present and enjoying it. Yoga is another indoor activity that is inherently mindful of breath and body and requires us to be fully present in the moment. There are so many free yoga videos online that you can do it from the comfort of your own home! Additionally, being fully present and mindfully enjoying quality time with loved ones during the holiday season can greatly increase our joy and pleasure, and minimize any stress or anxiety.
Set Realistic Expectations
One common source of holiday stress is the pressure of unrealistic expectations. Whether it's hosting the perfect party or finding the ideal gift, these expectations can be overwhelming. I advise setting realistic goals and remembering that it's okay not to meet every expectation. The holidays don't have to be perfect to be enjoyable. You don’t have to be perfect. You are enough just as you are, and the people you love who you choose to spend this holiday with will understand if you’re not completely perfect. In fact, perfection does not exist. Take the stress away from finding the perfect holiday outfit, finding the perfect gift, cooking the perfect meal, or hosting the perfect event. It simply isn’t necessary. Most people just enjoy gatherings with loved ones and aren’t paying attention to the little details at all. Do yourself a favor and keep your expectations for yourself, others, and events as realistic as possible.
Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care is often the first thing to go during the busy holiday season. However, taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential. I highly recommend scheduling time for activities that rejuvenate you, such as a relaxing bath or shower, reading a book, or a quiet walk in the brisk Winter air. Remember, self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary for mental health and well-being. The holidays are apparently a time for giving, so we should obviously give to ourselves as well! Self-care looks different for everyone. Whatever activities fill your cup, relax you, or bring you joy - make the time to do them! It may just save you from experiencing unnecessary stress and anxiety during the holiday season.
Seek Support and Connection
The holidays can also be a time of loneliness for many. I want to emphasize the importance of seeking support and connection. This could mean reaching out to friends and family, participating in community events, or even seeking professional support through therapy. Remember, it's okay to ask for help. It’s okay to feel like you need connection. Humans are wired for connection, and loneliness is particularly painful during the holiday season. Do whatever you can to pursue support and connection during this time, whether it’s from colleagues, friends, family, your community, or a mental health professional.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude can transform your perspective on the holidays. Take time each day to reflect on what you're thankful for. Gratitude can shift focus from what's lacking to the abundance that exists in our lives, fostering a sense of contentment and reducing stress. There is literally so much scientific research backing the power of gratitude on the brain. All of us have something or someone to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small - focusing our attention, even for a few minutes, on what makes us feel grateful or joyful can create a powerful shift in perspective that can combat stress and anxiety.
Manage Time and Commitments
Overcommitment is a significant stressor during the holidays. I deeply recommend careful planning and time management. Learn to say no when necessary and prioritize activities that are most meaningful to you. Balancing your commitments can prevent burnout and allow you to enjoy the season more fully. You deserve to feel fully present and joyful during events that are meaningful to you. Even if that means a cozy night at home! If you’re craving solitude, peace, or just time to chill, I highly recommend making that commitment to yourself and scheduling time at home during the holiday season. In all the busyness and the chaos that the holidays can entail, we all deserve a little relaxation too. We just have to manage our time and commit to giving some of that time back to ourselves.
Reflect and Set Intentions
As the year ends, use this time for reflection and setting intentions for the new year! I encourage you to look back at the year's achievements and challenges and set realistic and achievable goals for the future. This process can provide closure for the past year and hope for the year ahead! It is also an opportunity to practice gratitude for the past year, and move into the next year with intentionality! Taking this time to pause and reflect can give us a mental break from the busyness of the holiday season. It is an opportunity for grounding, as well as gratitude, and we should all take it!
The Winter holiday season can be a time of joy and celebration, free from overwhelming stress. By implementing these strategies, you can navigate the holidays with a sense of calm and enjoyment. Remember, it's about creating meaningful experiences and cherishing the time with loved ones. If you find yourself needing additional support, Liz Davis Therapy is here to help guide you through your journey of personal growth and stress management. Feel free to schedule an appointment today by clicking the button below if you’d like personalized guidance on navigating the holidays stress-free!